Rare/Real

Callously I don’t believe in a guiding hand stated and fated from high above

Fallacy I tend to see, in the preordained designated lie that society calls love

Whether it’s mutual psychological attraction or a reaction from chemical interaction

Or the way you fit in those clothes and the elements of you you chose to show in our interaction

Like a rose by any other name would still smell just as sweet

Just the same I had to concede defeat to a beauty like Helena’s fleet

All I know is for so long something I can’t put my finger on does linger on

And I know these feelings aren’t the same as the ones I thought they belonged

This isn’t something I feel often, not something I recreate

Maybe that’s why I tried to name it before I understood its shape

Maybe it’s the fact you can’t lose what never chose

I lost the long-dangled illusion of own tangled inclusion I had strangled into delusion and froze

I’ve lost my way, not gone, not erased, just misplaced

Somewhere between the moment we felt close and the motion you chose as you changed pace

Sometimes I can’t find the words I’m supposed to say

So I force my compliance and let the unsaid play where the silence lays

Where truth stays unstated, untouched by persuasion or pressure

Because truth comes cleaner when you stop trying to dress her

I used to say I’d bleed for you and I meant it, not metaphor, not performance cast

But a raw reckless reverence that mistakes suffering for substance that lasts

Like if it hurt enough it had to be enough to last

I confused intensity for permanence and never questioned the contrast

You’re the only thing that’s true amongst these lies

You will always be the greatest connection in my eyes

But connection isn’t ownership or assignment

And hazy mutual admiration isn’t always alignment

I don’t believe in destiny but your words meant so much to me

The way you said things always set something inside of me free

From the moment I met you I pictured you as something out of my league

But that distance-fed admiration mixed with projection eventually turns into fatigue

I loved your style, didn’t see faults, just a beautiful smile

Then it became the way I could make you laugh for a while

The way you’d feel indignation on my behalf, emotion stacked in a pile

My empathy and anger too intense to translate, too complex to compile

Like we spoke the same language in a world that rarely makes sense

A rare alignment of perspective I never tried to define or compress

Despite my best intention there was internal invention

Maybe that’s what created the tension inside my perception

Or maybe it was just something rare without full comprehension

Far from perfect but everything still felt so correct in reflection

Maybe I filled in the gaps between myself and the cold

With meaning you never promised to carry or hold

A landslide, slow slide, soul wide divide

Despite self image and inner pride I watched it shift and still tried

To name it something fixed just to feel fine

Even though something inside knew it wasn’t mine

My Fleetwood Mac, my Green Day feeling, my bleeding heart never feels like it’s healing

Because I kept reopening it, calling repetition devotion instead of seeing what I was revealing

Because a moment with you felt worth spending, no need for pretending

Not something to capture, just something worth experiencing

And honestly I hope you had the time of your life

And I promise I wasn’t trying to make you my wife

I know we weren’t perfect but it was all so real

And real doesn’t mean forever, just something you actually feel

Something that happened and mattered, worthy of the endeavor

Not everything meaningful needs to resolve into forever

You are the best friend I’ve ever had, honestly best I never had

And that contradiction isn’t something to fix, it’s something I’m glad

Because I watched you shift, lift into a version of yourself

Not betrayal, not loss, just growth that didn’t revolve around myself

I used to hate that, your absence would hit and I didn’t know how to steer

I turned it inward and called it something deeper than fear

But that wasn’t truth, that was dependence dressed up sincere

A fear of absence trying to sound deeper than it appears

When something gets held too tight it turns into control

And control dissolves what it’s trying to console

Past relationships dug their knife into my skin

Don’t know if I’ll ever again believe in again

But maybe belief isn’t the problem, maybe expectation is

Maybe I kept trying to turn moments into outcomes instead of letting them live

Because real connection isn’t a contract that accepts correction

Isn’t compact, you can’t dictate its direction

It isn’t something you secure through force or selection

It’s something you experience fully and still allow its progression

I wanted to hold your hand through the sloppiness, through the mess

Through the questions where nothing feels certain or expressed

I wanted to hold you lightly, without needing to possess

Not to keep you from changing, just to share in the process

And that realization didn’t dim the feeling, it refined it

Because what this is doesn’t disappear just because you don’t define it

I think about you day and night, I know it ain’t right

But honesty is cleaner than pretending I’ve moved on just to feel like I might

You made me feel at ease like a night light for a child

You made me feel the way the world looked before it got defiled

And I won’t disrespect that by pretending it didn’t last

Some things are meant to be felt deeply, not held fast

It just changed form, and change isn’t loss

It’s movement without permission, without asking the cost

Each day gets lighter, less weight on my chest

Because I stopped trying to keep what was never meant to be kept

You made me more me, helped me find my feet

When I was buried in my head, incomplete

So wherever you go, go fully, be free

Because what I felt doesn’t require you to choose me

You look so graceful when you’re flying, and I mean that true

Not as someone chasing you, just someone who understood you

Because I turned this inside out trying to see what it meant

And maybe it’s not permanence, not possession, not promise or intent

Maybe it’s presence, something real without needing to repeat

Two people intersecting once, and that alone is complete

And I won’t hold you in place just to keep it alive

Because that would turn something honest into something contrived

But if our paths ever cross and the timing aligns

I can’t force it all I’ll just recognize

There is something true beneath societies’ lies